The cost of peace is integrity. When the price gets too high we break the peace.

You cannot have your cake and eat it too. This is a two choice dilemma. I want to keep the cake and I want to eat the cake. To choose one makes the other impossible. The price that we pay for peace in our marriage is often a two choice dilemma, peace or our integrity. For example, my wife wants to keep the cake and I want to eat the cake. I can keep the peace by denying my desire to eat the cake but that costs me my integrity, being honest about what I really want. It keeps the peace but there is a cost. You cannot spend money and save the same money. You cannot stay home and clean and go visit the in-laws at the same time. You cannot have a more varied sex life and keep the same routine. You can be honest and hold on to your integrity or you can keep the peace.

At some point in most marriages one spouse or the other will get fed up with keeping the peace at the cost of their integrity. At some point the price gets too high and the peace is broken. When the peace is broken, growth should be the goal.

Things in your marriage will not change by keeping the peace. You cannot get a spender to save by keeping the peace. You cannot add spice to your marriage bed by keeping the peace. To make changes in your marriage you have to be honest about what you want with your spouse and how their actions affect you and your marriage. If you continue to do what you are doing, keeping the peace, you will continue to get what you are getting.

Is it time to break the peace?

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