This morning Lisa Merlo-Booth (@LisaMerloBooth) tweeted, “Get ur eyes off the other person & pay attention to what u’re doing. Control ur behaviors cuz u can’t control theirs.” Her tweet got me to thinking about the time we waste focusing on what we cannot control. This time would be much better spent on what we can control but it’s easier to focus on and blame that which we cannot control than it is to take responsibility for what we actually can control, namely ourselves.
So, recognize what you can control and what you cannot. Actually it would be more accurate to to say, recognize who you can control and who you cannot. Too often in marriage we waste time focusing on what our spouse could, or, in our minds, should be doing that they are not. Focusing on what we cannot control. Instead we should be looking at ourselves, someone we actually have some power to control, and what we should be doing to improve ourselves and our marriage.
One of the things I’ve learned in my forty plus years here on earth is that if you don’t like the way someone is relating to you then you should change the way that you relate to them. In other words, if you don’t like what you are getting from your spouse, or anyone else for that matter, then you should change the way in which you relate to them. If you continue to give what you’re giving you’ll continue to get what you are getting and, as Dr. Phil would say, “How’s that working out for ya?” Hopefully it is working well. If it’s not then perhaps it’s time for you to change.
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