There are a lot of people who say that they want a better marriage but when push comes to shove what they really want is for their spouse to be more compliant to their own selfishness. When pressed you’ll find that they are not ready to do the work to make a better marriage. The title of this post is why I decided to start blogging about marriage; just wanting a better marriage is not enough, you have to do the work.
As we discussed in a 2012 post, What Works in Making a Better Marital Relationship, wanting is not enough. A better marriage requires introspection, communication and making real changes. We have to look at how we add to the issues in our marriage either through our own selfish behavior or through our acceptance of the unacceptable. Are we selling out our integrity for peace?
There is a ton of information out there about marriage that play to stereotypes and generalities. Give your husband more sex and you’ll have a happier marriage… perhaps. Help around the house more and you’ll have a happier marriage… maybe. How about, married people you should be having fulfilling sex together frequently because it is the right thing for your marriage? Or how about, couples work together to make a better house and home because it creates for a happier atmosphere for everyone? How about, do the right thing because it is the right thing to do not because you’re trying to manipulate your spouse.
Quid-pro-quo turns marriage into a barter system and that isn’t love.
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